Single and Not Ready to Mingle

”The average American woman gets married at age twenty-seven.”

My heart sank a little as I finished reading the sentence. I just turned twenty-seven a month ago. Lord, I really don’t want to get married this year.  

Then I had a moment where I had to ask myself, what is wrong with me?

I really enjoy being single. Genuinely. I think when I tell people that, they don’t really believe me.

I have a hard time empathizing with people who think that they’ve made it in life once they’re married. I don’t want to wait to “live my life” once I’m attached to someone. That makes absolutely no sense…

I’ve been reading a book called single. dating. engaged. married. by a guy named Ben Stuart. It speaks into all four of those stages that happen in a relationship. I highly recommend it, people.

The book has made me take a step back, though, and ask myself a tough question about my contentment in singleness.  

Why do I like my singleness so much?

Freedom and flexibility.
Doing what I want to, when I want to.
Not having to consult anyone before I buy something.
Delaying the whole process of having kids sounds like a good idea.
Cooking dinner and trying to feed another human doesn’t sound like fun.
      [If you know my eating habits, this makes sense to you]
The ability to pick up and travel around the world.

Do you see what’s wrong with that list?

It’s missing the one purpose that the Lord created singleness for.

”I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. ” 1 Corinthians 7: 32-35

Do you see that? Singleness is a time to be anxious about things of the Lord. How to please the Lord. How to be holy in body and spirit. To promote good order and secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

Yikes. My list didn’t include anything about devoting more time to the Lord. I’m realizing that my contentment is pretty selfish.

Although I still believe that being married is not my goal in life, I am also realizing that my singleness is rooted completely in the wrong reasons.

How are you spending your singleness?